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What Is Your D List?

Hi friends,

Something hilarious just happened in the comments to Max Daniels’s latest self-care article.

Max wrote: “I’ve got an A game for self-care that can take a couple hours, including workouts. My D game, for rock bottom days = five items: shaving, stretching, matching skivvies, mascara, and lipstick, The End.”

Shandy commented that she put this question to her knitting group: what is your D list? “One soignee lady in her 80s started: “Put in my teeth, then my hearing aids – but that is sometimes an either/or.” None of us even had matching underwear. Two of the group did admit to lipstick as a daily essential…”

This tickled the heck out of me. What is my D list? Do I even have a MINIMUM of self-care? Even on down days, I do: protein breakfast, shower (at some point before it gets dark or I have to See People), moisturizer, brush teeth, bra (nonmatching I hasten to add). Anything else is putting me in the pampering zone, so it must not be that down of a day.

What is your D list?


OK, this is so great. My D game has to do mostly with the end of the day, when nothing has really panned out. Plan D is a long shower, as hot as I can get it, and one of those melatonins that dissolves like a Sweet Tart. I may have a dependence on Quick Dissolve Melatonin. A fresh cotton nightgown. And, to make sure I drift off to sleep as fast as possible in hopes that tomorrow will be a better day, I crack open whatever New Yorker is at hand and read three paragraphs of whatever. I never make it to paragraph four.


D game: Coffee, and pants. Bra, schma. Oh, and a shower. But maybe not until very late in the day when I just need to regroup. [Sadly, my A game is not much different; coffee, shower, pants (and non-matching underthings – I have never owned matching underthings), and maybe a spritz of fragrance, and styling my hair if I have to Go Out.]


This is where I get confused with regards to A/D list for self-care. If I need to present myself as a professional (or even just as a civilized human being), I’ve got my A game for preparing myself so that I feel confident and self-assured (it does not include makeup or matching underwear, unless I just happen to be wearing white/white that day). However, I do not include self-presentation as self-care. I am very introverted by nature and self-care for me is to not engage with people, but rather curl up in my favorite spot in pj’s with knitting (or a good book).


Glad you found it as entertaining as we did. She went on to explain that when meeting her sister she chose teeth rather than hearing aids on the grounds that her sister preferred to rattle on and it really didn’t matter if you did not catch everything she said. Anyone else got a sister like that? I certainly have.

I was intrigued by Max’s first item - shaving. Why?..or, possibly, what? That would be an A list item for me.


On my D days, it’s brush teeth, wash face, panties only (being a true child of the 60’s, I avoid bras whenever possible), pulled back hair and soft knit pants and shirt to stumble through the day.


On a long distance bike ride, I had to consider my minimal care because of carrying weight and lack of space. Aside from toothbrush and toothpaste, it was important to me to have a lip pencil (which holds up better than tube lipstick in the heat). My boyfriend was adamant about being able to wear his contact lenses even with the amount of space the care solutions took. This was before disposables. In the evenings we arranged to meet up w friends over dinner. I was willing to ride and go out to these hip restaurants with glasses as long as I had my lip pencil.

Cool idea on that bicycle trip: We figured out how far we could travel each day and booked reservations at hotels (w swimming pools) then we FedEx fresh clothes to each hotel and sent our sweaty clothes back.


D-List is: Brush teeth, pull back hair, put on leggings and a long shirt. Coffee, coffee, coffee, coffee and then some Diet Coke.


I’m with the coffee, and more coffee - then wash face, sweat pants and easy shirt (no bra, wanna-be hippie), and a good book and a cup of tea, hot or cold, doesn’t matter. Food is a need for sure but must be able to fix it quick and easy, like microwave leftovers and I’m good to go for the D-list all day.


I am truly amazed by all you ladies leaving off your bras. I’m not particularly well-endowed in that area, but I simply can’t imagine starting the day without some support. Equally, I don’t like lounging about in night-clothes unless I am actually ill. Where we have a little cottage in the North, it is not uncommon to see people popping to the neighbourhood shop in pyjamas, dressing gown and slippers. I am always staggered by this.


Am I the ONLY one who has to be out the door with the dogs every day without fail and they only give me 5 minutes before “Can’t hold it any longer, sorry!” hits? That, for me, is somewhere around H on the scale…
!. something not recognizable as pajamas.
2. colored lipgloss
3. dog treats in case the most stressed one makes it all the way to the street
4. plastic bags
5. leashes.
That is IT. Once I get back and both are fed, as are the cats, and I have a coffee in my hand, I MIGHT add toothbrushing and face scrubbing followed by eye cream to get to D. Other than non pajamas the only absolutes are lip gloss and the eye cream. I am 72 and my 36 year old friend once announced to a crowd that I had fewer lines around her eyes than he did.


Wow! I just realized I’ve been having a constant stream of DDays. Hmmmm.

Anyway, brush teeth and wash face, apply moisturizer and sunscreen, throw on exercise clothes, power walk with the neighborhood gang, eat something and shower (usually right before The Husb gets home from work).

Nothing much else gets done, although the intentions are always good. We all know what they say about good intentions though…

Well, if it’s truly a D, then “get out of bed” would lead the list, followed closely by “go downstairs”. The bane of modern technology means I can read so very very many books without even approaching a bookshelf, and my tablet also allows me to watch YouTube videos, catch up on the news, even watch a movie or TV show…in bed. Alas, my gym buddy is a FEMA reservist in Texas (blessings on him and all of them for the work they’re doing!) so that’s right out for a few months.


There’s a very assertive part of me that feels braless is the ultimate in self-care. Knitwithme I salute you!


Haha “what”! You made me lol.

It’s very basic but I just don’t like that bristly feeling. Makes me squirm FOR REAL and you know what they say: never let em see you squirm.

Clean underwear is absolutely essential, as are sunglasses. In the winter I often go without a bra under layers of clothing; in the summertime I need sunscreen and an umbrella if it’s really bright out - I have red hair. Then I walk the dog for quite a while, a mile plus walk being the fun part of self care. In the summertime I change into clean clothes after my walk, humid weather having the effect we all love so well. Then I come home and have breakfast, usually fruit, granola, yogurt, and coffee. Occasionally I have leftovers for breakfast, and once in a blue moon, pastry. I moved to my neighborhood for its parks and hope to resume jogging some day, nothing too strenuous. Exercise does more for my complexion than makeup.


My D list starts with let out chickens in night clothes plus mac if it is raining, feed cats, feed me, go back to bed with tv morning news for an hour then think about whether to shower, dress or just have a cat lick and return to bed.


Oh, don’t let it fool you – braless is only when I am sure that I’m not going to be stepping foot out of the house. Otherwise, it’s like a version of that kids’ song that goes “…can you tie 'em in a knot, can you tie 'em in a bow?” I can throw them over my shoulder like a Continental soldier… :wink:


I recently found an amazing non-drugstore eye cream. It really does deal with the heredity bags and circles that began at 14. I now use it 2x a day nearly without fail. And teeth brushing but bad days are manual not sonicare. I have too many odd variables in my life for standards or routines. Thanks to a chronic illness I feel like almost every day is my D game and it goes down from there. The pre-ill me would be SHOCKED & incredulous. But at least now that I’m older and The Change is approachung (or am I currently "in The Change?"I know less about menopause than a ythng else – and its not for lack of trying), regardless I thrilled that shaving is needed so much less often!! Albeit a lot more often than I do it.

Btw, if anyone knows a good resource on menopause… I’m pretty asymptomatic, ironically, but I still feel like I shoukd have some knowledge.

Like you, braless is only at home and I am not endowed anyway. Sometimes a bra means aches-and-irregularities, believe it or not, due to arthritis issues with a dose of mild (ha-ha) scoliosis. We all choose our battles!